Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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