I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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