he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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