Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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