no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
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I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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