Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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