You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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