At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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