fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize