I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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