I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You smell like stripper and shame
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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