That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
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literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
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end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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