getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
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Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
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There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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