Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
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For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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