Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize