Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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