The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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