Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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