after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
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I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
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You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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