im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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