i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize