ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
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He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
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Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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