Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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