and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize