Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
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