Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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