M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize