the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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