Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize