Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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