in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
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