i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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