We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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