I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize