My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
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