Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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