I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
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All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
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I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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