the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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