Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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