You can't special order awesome
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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