I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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