Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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