Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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