i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
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since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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