So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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