You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he wants to bone in the snuggie
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize