Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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