Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
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If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
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You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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