maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize