You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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